Following the principles outlined in the first part of this article, here is the text of the Divine Liturgy of St John Chrysostom, revised according to all the ideas applied 60 years ago so fruitfully and beneficially to the reform of the Roman Rite, shared with us by intrepid scholar and reporter Petruk von Batavia. (Since more than one person seems to think that both the editor and I have suddenly, inexplicably and completely lost our minds, this is a satire, intended to demonstrate what an appalling mess the principles of the Roman liturgical reform would make if applied to another ancient and venerable rite.)
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| Model sanctuary |
Text and Rubrics for Sunday Liturgy
[The proskomedia liturgy is abolished]
Liturgy of the Word
Invocation
Deacon: Reverend, give the blessing.
Priest: Happy is the realm of the + Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, now and forever.
All: Amen.
Great litany
[ Up to 12 lay readers may form a long, cycling queue for their turn to say a line from the great litany, to which all shall respond with “Lord, You are merciful”. ]
- Reader 1: In peace, let us pray to the Lord.
- Reader 2: For peace from above and for the salvation of all, let us pray to the Lord.
- Reader 3: For world peace, for the well-being of all and for unity, let us pray to the Lord.
- Reader 4: For this congregation, let us pray to the Lord.
- Reader 5: For the most holy universal pontiff, N., Pope of Rome, let us pray to the Lord.
- Reader 6: For our Major Archbishop N., the clergy and people, let us pray to the Lord.
- Reader 7: For this country, the government, and the world, let us pray to the Lord.
- Reader 8: For the original custodians of the land on which this temple stands, let us pray to the Lord.
- Reader 9: For the prevention of climate change, for Sister Earth and all creation, let us pray to the Lord.
- Reader 10: For travelers, for migrants and minorities, for women and the oppressed, let us pray to the Lord.
- Reader 11: That we may always be a Synodal Church, let us pray to the Lord.
- Reader 12: Remembering all the saints, let us commend ourselves and one another and our whole lives to Christ, our Lord.
Priest: For all happiness, love and worship befit You, Father, Son and Spirit, now and forever.
All: Amen.
First antiphon
[ The term “soul” may express an imprecise notion of a disembodied mind and will, which had been undermined by modern neuroscience, hence we shall use the term “life” for the sake of intellectual honesty. ]
Psalm 102
All: Bless the Lord, O my life, and all that is within me bless His holy name.
Bless the Lord, O my life, and forget not all His benefits.
He forgives all sins, heals all diseases.
He guides you away from corruption, crowning you with mercy.
Compassionate and merciful is God, abounding in mercy.
Bless the Lord, O my life, and all that is within me bless His holy name.
Blessed are you, O Lord.
[ Small litany is abolished ]
[ Second antiphon and Justinian’s hymn are abolished ]
The happy ones
Matt 5, 3-11
All: Remember us, O Lord, in Your realm.
Happy are the poor, for theirs is paradise.
Happy are the mourners, for they will be comforted.
Happy are the meek, for they will inherit Sister Earth.
Happy are they who desire righteousness, for they will be satisfied.
Happy are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
Happy are the pure, for they see God.
Happy are the peacemakers, for they are children of God.
Happy are the marginalised and minorities, for they shall have paradise.
Happy are you when they oppress you and accuse you because of me.
Be happy for your reward will be great.
Small entrance
[ The altar servers may optionally perform a joyful dance accompanying laypeople in the small entrance procession. ]
Deacon: Wisdom! Stand up.
All: Come, let us worship Christ. Son of God, You arose, guide us who sing to You: Alleluia.
Troparia and kontakia
<Refer to the propers for the day>
Thrice-happy song
Deacon: Bless, Reverend, the time of the thrice-happy song.
Priest: For You, our God, are holy and we make You happy, Father, Son, and Spirit, now and forever.
All: Amen.
All: Holy, mighty, and immortal God, you are compassionate to us.
Prokeimenon
Deacon: Let us pay attention.
Priest: Peace to all.
Deacon: Wisdom! Pay attention!
<prokeimenon here>
Epistle
Deacon: Wisdom.
Reader: A reading from ...
Deacon: Let us pay attention.
Reader: Siblings, ...
<reading here>
Priest: Peace to all.
Reader: Thanks. You also.
Deacon: Wisdom! Pay attention!
Alleluia
All: Alleluia, alleluia, alleluia.
Gospel
Priest: Wisdom! Stand up! Let us listen to the gospel! Peace to all.
All: Thanks. You also.
Deacon: A reading from the gospel according to <name>.
All: Glory to you, O Lord, glory to you.
Deacon: Let us pay attention.
<gospel here>
All: Glory to you, O Lord, glory to you.
[ Insistent litany is abolished ]
Liturgy of the Eucharist
Cherubic hymn
[ Historically, handwashing takes place when a bishop presides before the great entrance, wherein, a subdeacon pours an ewer containing rose water for washing the bishop’s hands, all while the deacon censes the altar, iconostasis and congregation.
However, this may scandalise the faithful by appearing to diminish the dignity of the subdeacon and deacon with manual labour. Instead, the bishop may use a hand sanitiser from his pocket, or the temple may be installed with a faucet and an automatic hand dryer for the bishop to use, while the deacon simply burns incense on a bowl. ]
All: Let us who represent the cherubim and sing the thrice-happy song to the liberating Trinity, now lay aside all prejudices.
Great entrance
[ The altar servers may optionally perform a joyful dance accompanying laypeople in the great entrance procession, bringing the gifts. ]
Deacon: May the Lord remember in His realm all you people, always, now and forever.
Priest: May the Lord remember in His country the most holy universal Pontiff, N., the Pope of Rome, all clergy, our country, and everyone, always, now and forever.
All: Amen. That we may receive the Word of God, who became human. Alleluia, alleluia, alleluia.
[ Litany of offerings is abolished ]
Sign of peace
Priest: Peace to all.
All: Thanks. You also.
Deacon: Let us love each other, that we may confess:
All: Father, Son and Spirit, the Trinity one in being and undivided.
[ The clergy and congregation shall give each other the sign of peace by a simple nod. Making physical contact should be avoided to maintain hygiene standards. The congregants shall reverence each other, in the Christian spirit of love and charity towards neighbour with: Namaste. ]
Nicene creed
[ All recite the creed. Historically, the priest will hold the Aër above the Gifts and waive it slowly, indicating the activity of the Holy Spirit. However, this is superstitious and the use of any veils, including the Aër, will now be forbidden. ]
Deacon: In wisdom, let us pay attention.
All: We believe in one God, …
Anaphora
Deacon: Let us stand up, let us stand with respect, let us awake to offer in peace the holy offering.
All: A mercy of peace, an offering of praise.
Priest: The kindness of Jesus Christ, the love of God the Father, and the friendship of the Spirit is with you all.
All: Thanks. You also.
Priest: Let us lift up our hearts.
All: We lift them up to the Lord.
Priest: Let us thank the Lord.
All: It is correct and good.
Priest: It is correct and good to bless, praise, thank, worship You everywhere; for You are God. You created the universe. So, we thank You, even though there stand before you many angels, singing, crying, shouting, and saying the happy song:
All: Holy, holy, holy is the Sovereign wonderful and powerful. The universe is filled with your glory. Happy is the Person who comes in the name of God. Hosanna in the highest.
Priest: With these angels, O God, who loves people, we say: Happy are You – truly, all happy – You and Your only-begotten Son and Your Spirit. Happy are You – truly all happy – and great is your happiness. You so loved Your world as to give Your Son, that whoever follows Him shall be happy. After He had come and taught us with His teachings, He was given over – or rather, gave Himself over for the world. He took bread into His hands, gave it to His friends, saying:
<usual words>
All: Amen.
Priest: When the meal was ended, He took the cup in the same way, saying:
<usual words>
All: Amen.
Priest: Remembering the love, example and teachings of Jesus Christ, our beloved Lord: We offer to You, Yours of Your own, in behalf of all and for all.
All: We sing, bless, praise, and thank You, and pray to You, our God.
Epiclesis
[ The priest may not make the sign of the cross over the bread and wine, as this fosters superstition; instead, he gently touches the bread and cup. ]
Priest: Further, look with your tender eyes how thankful we are for this bread and wine, the fruits of Sister Earth, and work of comrade’s hands: And send Your Spirit upon us and these gifts present,
And make this bread the body of Your Christ <touch the bread>,
And that inside this cup the blood of Your Christ <touch the cup>,
Changing them by your Holy Spirit,
So that they may be for recipients, nourishment and medicine, friendship with the Spirit, guide to happiness, and confidence before You.
Diptychs
Priest: Further, we offer you this good and sanitary worship for those who have gone to sleep before us: ancestors, parents, teachers, saints, and especially for the most Holy Mary, who actively chose to carry on with gestation by her own volition.
All: It is correct and good to bless you, the biological parent of Christ. Greater than the cherubim and happier than the seraphim; you gave birth to Christ our Lord, O true Theotokos, we honour your choice!
Priest: Among the first, remember, O God, the most holy universal Pontiff, N., Pope of Rome, and all the clergy. For the sake of your churches grant that they may live peacefully and happily for many years.
All: And remember all people.
Priest: And grant that with one voice and heart, we may praise and worship Your name, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, now and forever.
All: Amen.
Priest: And may the mercies of our great Guide and Lord, Jesus Christ, be with you all.
All: Thanks. You also.
[ Litany for the sanctified gifts is abolished ]
[ Litany of supplication is abolished ]
The Prayer
Priest: As Christ taught us, we say:
All: Father in heaven,
Holy is your name,
Your realm come,
Your will is done,
On earth and sky.
Give us this day our daily bread,
And pardon our sins,
As we pardon them that sin against us.
And do not allow us to be tempted,
But deliver us from evil.
Priest: For the realm, sovereignty, and happiness are yours, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, now and forever.
All: Amen.
Priest: Peace to all.
All: Thanks. You also.
Deacon: Bow to the Lord.
All: To You, O Lord.
Priest: We give you thanks, O Lord, through the kindness, mercies and compassion of Your only-begotten Son with Whom You are happy together with Your holy, good, and liberating Spirit, now and forever.
All: Amen.
Communion
Deacon: Let us pay attention.
Priest: The happy things for the happy.
All: One is happy, one is Lord, Jesus Christ, to the gladness of the Father. Amen.
Praise the Lord from heaven: praise Him in the highest. Alleluia, alleluia, alleluia.
[ “I believe, O Lord, and confess that You are truly Christ ... ” is abolished. ]
Communion of the people
Deacon: Approach, all you people.
All: Happy is the person who comes in the name of the Word who appeared to us.
[ Communion is either received on the hand or taken directly from the diskos by the recipient. The recipient will then dip the bread into the wine and consume immediately. The use of liturgical spoon is discouraged to prevent the spread of bacteria or viruses.
Recipients come relaxed, without the requirement to cross their arms over their chest.
The priest distributing the eucharist says: The bread of life and our spiritual drink. ]
Blessing with the gifts
Priest: Save all people, O Lord, and bless your inheritance.
All: We have seen the light. We have received the teaching. We have found happiness. We worship the undivided Trinity for guiding us.
Priest: Happy is God, now and forever.
All: Amen.
Thanksgiving hymn
Give thanks with a grateful heart
Give thanks to the Holy One
Give thanks because He's given
Jesus Christ His Son
And now let the weak say I am strong
Let the poor say I am rich
Because of what the Lord has done for us
Give thanks
We give thanks
[ Thanksgiving litany is abolished ]
Ambo prayer
Deacon: Let us go in peace.
All: In the name of the Lord.
Deacon: Let us pray to the Lord.
All: The Lord is merciful.
Priest: You bless those who bless You, O Lord, and make happy those who trust in your guidance. And we give glory, thanks, and worship to You, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, now and forever.
All: Amen. Happy is the name of the Lord, now and forever.
Final blessing
Priest: May the blessing of God be on you with His kindness and love for people, always, now and forever.
All: Amen.
Dismissal
Priest: Glory to You, Christ our Lord, Glory to You.
All: Glory to the Father, Son, and Spirit, now and forever. Amen. The Lord is merciful. Give the blessing.
Priest: Christ + our Lord, through the prayers of Mary, His mother, of John Chrysostom, Archbishop of Istanbul, and of all the saints, will guide us, for He is good and loves all people.
All: Amen.
